we served a purpose, like a bloody circus;
Bam! You're dead.
Well, it might not have happened with a bam or a bang--maybe just a whimper. Afterwards, some psychopomp or another grabbed your hand and led you here, to this awkward waiting room on the astral plane.
There's stale coffee and some mediocre donuts. The chairs are moderately comfortable, and the paintings on the wall are pretty but somewhat unsettling.
Every so often one of the gods' messengers shows up and fetches someone to take them to their proper place in the afterlife.
It's kind of boring.
Well, it might not have happened with a bam or a bang--maybe just a whimper. Afterwards, some psychopomp or another grabbed your hand and led you here, to this awkward waiting room on the astral plane.
There's stale coffee and some mediocre donuts. The chairs are moderately comfortable, and the paintings on the wall are pretty but somewhat unsettling.
Every so often one of the gods' messengers shows up and fetches someone to take them to their proper place in the afterlife.
It's kind of boring.

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There's 90 years until she goes on stage again. If she goes on stage again. Either way she has some time to-
. . . well . . . ]
Yer mum have a liquor cabinet?
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[ A beat. ]
Or, well, he fathered some of her children anyway.
[ He shrugs. ]
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[ It comes out sounding like she doesn't believe him, but also doesn't care that she doesn't believe. Her hand finds his anyway. ]
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Let's go.
[ The functionary he was talking to a minute ago opens the door, and he leads her towards it. ]
Do you remember your name? Not everybody--
[ He falls silent and watches her. ]
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[ The lie is out of her mouth before she realizes its coming. Shit. Well, nothing to do but play it cool. She stands (coolly), and places her pastry aside (coolly), and heads towards the door (at maximum cool). ]
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[ He chatters amiably at her, but pauses before the door. ]
I'm called Juliet.
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[ Well she's going right through unless he's stopping her :T ]
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You might want to--
[ Oops, welcome to
T H E V O I D
It turns out the waiting room was on the dark side of the moon, and now they're both hanging out on a teeny tiny platform made of stardust somewhere above it. ]
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Might want to what?
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[ He looks at her in concern for a moment, then just sighs, murmurs something under his breath that sounds like a chant, and gestures with the caduceus. ]
There.
[ A narrow path spirals out from the platform through the vastness of space, leading towards the sun. ]
We're going to our next-door neighbor. Isn't that nice?
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The sun?
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[ She fishes in her pockets for the crumpled pack of smokes she'd kept safely hidden in the waiting room. None of this is remotely what she'd expected, but that's fine. She's fine. She's not worried. She got everything she ever wanted and she's fine.
Time to see if her lighter works without oxygen. ]
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Juliet glances back at her as he starts on the path. ]
Oh, things tend to transform when you die, I'm afraid.
[ He reaches into a pocket and comes out with a package of actual cigarettes, although their design is oddly alien. ]
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No shit.
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Astral plane logic. ]
Nice trick.
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[ That IS good to see. She remains fairly nonplussed about all this cosmic wonder. That much, at least, seems a lot more appropriate than a waiting room. She tosses the pack back to him. ]
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[ He shrugs. ]
I'm not a scientist.
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[ To cosmic sea or to him not being a scientist WHO KNOWS. ]
So since when does Aphrodite collect the dead? Bump off Hades while the wife was out or what?
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[ They're about halfway between Earth and Venus now, and he continues to walk unconcerned along the narrow path through space. ]
Or whatever souls prayed to them before death. What were you doing when you died?
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Not praying to her.
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Yes, this is a temporary arrangement. But she--
[ He hesitates and glances down off into the blackness. ]
She has been in that place. She is and is not--
[ He makes a frustrated "how do you even explain this?" gesture with his free hand. ]
It was something to do with Persephone, wasn't it?
[ The darkness hums almost threateningly with the sound of the name, and he makes a small dismayed face. ]
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Is it her name, still? ]
Uh huh.
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[ He shrugs. ]
She may smite you, I'm afraid.
My holy mother has taken an interest in you in the meanwhile.
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[ Just deeply, deeply unconcerned about any upcoming smites. ]
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